Andy and I have been collecting all the required information for our Home Study - filling out forms, writing bios on ourselves, asking friends for personal references and started our online adoption training classes.
We had told ourselves we would continue "walking the road" towards adopting these boys but the minute we felt the door close, we would not "force" it and would accept this as a sign that we just are not being called to adopt these boys.
All while going through this very tedious process, we both have been really questioning things like: will they fit in with our family, what are their personalities like, what if there are attachment issues, what if ......
So, we thought this would be a good time to go visit the orphanage and secretly meet the boys under the guise that we are volunteering.
Message to Carrie:
"Andrea Holland Edmunds November 16, 2012Hey Carrie - Been so busy traveling lately but still plugging along with application. Andy and I did our physicals last week. The agency emailed me that they got our paperwork and are sending fingerprint cards for "clearance". Not sure what all that means but at least we are on our way (with Home Study).
Were you able to speak with Ms Mary about our visiting? If I had a definitive answer from her, we will look more seriously into booking a flight.
Thanks for checking in on me. Actually in a very emotional state today for some reason so it was nice to hear from you. I'm sure it's because of traveling and just being tired. Going home now to "be still"!"
It's clear from my message to Carrie that I am feeling a little bit of stress and questioning all of this. Andy and I agree that if we can meet the boys in person, that way we will know for sure that either we are doing the right thing or we will walk away from this crazy idea now.
Ha! We are about to be reminded very soon not to question God's plan but rather to follow and trust Him!